Work it into the Mix

Crap. That's what seems to be going on most of this year so far. I don't care if we have an ice storm on December 31st, so long as it marks the end of this god damned year.

At the end of April, I had my car serviced for its 30,000 mile tune-up. Of course, this was the first time I'd ever rotated the tires. Last winter, I replaced the front tires for the first snow. Those were moved to the rear and the original, balder-than-I'll-ever-be tires were put on the front! At first I was miffed. Bald tires on the front of a front-wheeled drive? But then, what the hey, it was practically summer. I'd get better traction. But first we had to get through the thaw. Then the heavy rains. Then a vain fist-shaking from Old Man Winter. Then, More rain. We survived.

Well, first week of May, we pick up a screw in the college parking lot. In the shoulder of one of the newer tires. While removing the recently tool-tightened nuts, I threw my back out. This occurred repeatedly, on three of the five nuts. Serious Ouch Factor. Your sympathy is for once encouraged and embraced. OUCH!

Fast forward to Saturday June 7th. I had just gotten out of the bed. I sat in the desk chair and stretched. That level 7 pain from a month before that had died down to a manageable 4, it came back. Worse, it brought a couple kegs and strippers and every "friend" it could rally for its party. I choked it down and carried on. Even "snuggled" with the Mrs. for a couple hours. Probably didn't help. But worth it. Later, at my favorite restaurant, I leaned over to grab my hat... Next thing I know, I'm experiencing the second most physically painful event of my life. My wife about lost it. She almost dragged me to the E.R. But I'm Irish. That means I'm more stubborn than all your asses! I struggled through until Monday morning. Then I ended up in the hospital after all. At least I drove there and not some ambulance.

Now I'm taking so many pills I can barely keep track of which ones when and under what conditions-- with food, full glass of water, no machines, etc. Needless to say, I haven't had a drink of my savored tequila in quite a while. I think Heath Ledger was a rising star, but I don't wish to join him for tea any time soon. Which is interesting. See, I was courting suicide recently. I have it almost figured out. Just that it wouldn't look like an accident. So, if I was as intent on offing my sorry ass as I feared I might be, wouldn't overdosing be a more convenient way? I'd even get to enjoy a drink to go!

Obviously I wasn't all that suicidal. I'm worse than a suicidal person; I'm a survivor.

Here it is, Fire Day. My ALONE day to write and readjust. Screw my head on straight. This is what keeps me sane, this and music. And coffee. Sex and tequila aren't necessities like these.

I decided this afternoon to call my back's bluff. I'm going to work it into the mix like all my other aches and pains. Isolate it and accept it. Work just wasn't kind enough on me this week, despite my doctor's written plea for light duty. I just got hired on full-time with 100% medical and a second raise and I take a Monday off and return with a note saying I'm to be pampered. We are SO far behind now. My fellow workmates are QUITE frustrated. It actually exploded into a confrontation between me and Sean/Magneato, my supervisor, yesterday. He's catching hell from the owner and, in turn, looking for some one to pass the bill to. But, in my defense, I AM injured and it's not production's fault that we have too much work. "Production" is three people. If one of them is out, that's 1/3 of the crew! Might as well be having a strike! So why do we take on so much work? Whatever.

More worthy of our concern is the signs of the times, don't you agree? Natural disasters all over the world. I feel I need to "dust off my bible." Make sure I still have enough time and spirit to straighten out.

But to be frank, you know what I got on my mind? Honestly, this summer's movie line-up. I admire M. Night Shyamalan's work and look forward to The Happening. I'll see Hulk, just because it's a comic book movie. Already seen Indiana Jones 4, Iron Man, Chronicles of Narnia, and countless other movies. Refuse to miss Hellboy 2. Itching to see Will Smith's Hancock. Most of all, I can hardly wait for Dark Knight.