Rage-a-holics Anonymous

I've mentioned my driving habits and profanity problem. So has my wife. But get this, she's gotten to be worse than I am! Maybe I'm a bad influence.

She used to stick to 5 miles over the speed limit. Always. Not so much anymore. That, of course, doesn't stop her from telling me not to speed, as I'm doing a meager 65.

When someone is Driving Ms. Daisy in the fast lane, I'll pull up behind them and turn on my Left turn signal. Like a cop. My wife? She'll speed around them, then slow down to about 40 mph. You know, to make her point. :(

The other day, she gets down stairs on the way to work, and finds her car blocked in by someone else's car. Rather than coming inside and calling out for the owner, she screamed outside for someone to move the car. Think anyone could hear her? Apparently not. Her first reaction? Ram his car with hers. She didn't do that. Her second reaction? Leave a note saying "F___ You!" under his wiper. She couldn't find a pen. Her third reaction, the one she did go with? She dug all the trash out of her trash-filled car and dumped it on top of his, taking the time to tuck some under the wipers. Then, she carefully jockeyed her compact car around his clunker and sped of to work.

When I came down to get into my car, I saw a strange scene indeed, but WHATEVER. Later, at work, I get a call. It's Glass: Did I see her purse before I left? It's rather important. She tells me what the car-owner did, what she did, and that she thinks she left her purse on top of her car whilst she was perusing her garbage! Shocked, I can say nothing to allay her fears. I can only flash back in my mind...

A few months back, the nitwits kitty-corner to us were throwing a party on a week night. At 2:30 am, when we were still struggling top sleep, I suggested that I sternly, but with politeness, suggest that our neighbors consider their neighbors. My wife refused. She feared that they were deviant and would retaliate. Say, they might key our car or something...

Back to the present. Thankfully, her purse was safely in the apartment, where she left it in her rush to get to work on time. The car-owner? Apparently he was moving out that day. I recognized the car as belonging to the couple downstairs and across the hall. That morning, there was also a truck with a flat-bed trailer blocking some other nearby parking spaces.

Nice way to say goodbye to your friendly neighbors, eh?

College

I completed my first semester of college. My last final was Saturday the 24th. This semester, my wife and I attended classes together.

Last semester was a fiasco. I started out with three classes. All online. TERRIBLE IDEA. I dropped one, bailed on another and failed the last.

This semester I revisited the one I dropped, Basic Sociology, and shot for a passing grade in Advanced College Algebra. The results? Drum roll: I got a B in Math and probably in Soc as well. My wife? An A in Math and quite likely in Soc too. Smart girl. I dare say too smart.

She's decided to go for nursing, continuing this Fall after a Summer sabbatical. I intend to enjoy the summer with her.

Come Fall, I hope to have my career sorted. I came to the conclusion that any job in a hospital is not a job for me. I'm thinking that my criteria of mobility, job security, and income will be met by a career in plumbing.

I was inspired recently by our apartment complex's maintenance man. If not Plumbing, our desire for a house will provoke me to pursue Heating and Air Conditioning instead.

Now that school is out, I give myself two weeks to regain my sanity before looking into a counselor. Seriously. Also, Fridays are mine and mine alone. I should be doing most of my blogging on that day of the week for now.

Stinger

I know it's really creepy that I name my knives--that I even have them, but hey, I'm Dusk. I've earned it.

What started it all was Stinger. It has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings. It's a Police issue Spyderco knife with a 4" fully serrated blade and partially sharpened spine. That's three kinds of illegal in several states. When I was living OUT IN the desert, I didn't have the luxury of leaving valuables behind. So I took them with me everywhere. Including school. I have never drawn a knife (or gun for that matter) on a person. I have used weapons on vicious stray dogs. And I collected nearly a third of my knives from jerks who thought they could take me on with a knife.

My few friends often joked about me and my formidable knife and "the unlucky fool who crossed my path". Somehow we got to referring to such a situation as me Stinging them, with my Stinger. I think it had something to do with the knife having the word POLICE etched into it.



When I was living in an abandoned van in the middle of the desert, Stinger came in very handy. It got quite abused. Even though knives are just another tool, you shouldn't use knives as screwdrivers or saws unless the need is dire, and even then... Thankfully, somebody actually tried to use a Leatherman knock-off utility knife on me before I got too stupid with Stinger.

Stinger was unfortunately sitting on the table out of reach the night Cruizer went possessed on me. I don't know, I just have a ton of memories with it. It's been a part of me for almost as long as my chain, Pacer. Yes, I named it too. I lost Stinger in late 2002, when I was just starting to excel in my studies to become, of all things, a minister.

On my visit to the West Coast, my sister returned Stinger to me. She was working with the son of the lady I rented a room from back then. He had stolen it. My sister took it back. How? Well, she IS my sister :)

It feels good to have it back. Between seeing all my old spiritually strong friends out West and getting back this virtual talisman, I feel I can really have success returning to the only job that ever gave me a sense of joy and purpose.

Anonymous said...

im not really sure how i feel about this...

a little scared, a little proud, a little shocked, a little scared....

how DID she get it back?? i never asked!

March 5, 2008 9:57 AM